My Music Highway "I Call Life"

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Spoiling a Child...

When I was a little girl I was very spoiled. I was spoiled by my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. The "spoiling" died down when I turned 4 years old, my middle sister was born. I have been told that I cried out for attention many a time. The stories I have heard are always very humorous. Example: When friends of my parents came over to the house. I brought my potty chair into the room where all the adults were and showed them how I could do #1 and #2.

As I became a teenager I always had to get my way. If I didn't get my way I lashed out by doing something "evil", well not really "evil" but wrong. I was a horrible teenager. If I was told I couldn't do something or couldn't have something, I always found some way of getting what I wanted. I was a professional liar to my parents and my temper was just uncalled for... still is sometimes. I came across a TV show not to long ago that was reporting on child "wanna be" stars. Some of the kids/ teenagers reminded me of... well, ME at their age.

Back in the day, I had stars in my eyes and I would have stopped at nothing to get what I wanted and to reach the goal of "stardom". I was a bratty little cuss and if I was told I needed to work on my vocals or I screwed up a note... I was a little bitch about the whole thing. Instead of taking the criticism and trying to make myself better, I would brush it off as whomever was doing the criticizing had no clue what they were talking about. I thought I was the shanizzle and no one could tell me any different. Until I "fell on my face" I was the "queen" of my little world of Shayna. I am not sure if a lot of this was wanting the attention of my mother... she and I had a lot of difficulties while I was a teenager... the fences between she and I still have not been completely mended. (Can you tell I have "Mommy" issues?)

As an adult, I am no longer that little liar, temper tantrum throwing, "evil" kid/ teenager. Although, my temper can flair when I get mad... which doesn't happen often... but when it does... WATCH OUT! :)

I am writing this because I worry so much about my 3 year old son. I see so much of me in him. He has my temper and is spoiled just like I was. I do not want him to be "evil" like I was. I want to have a better relationship with him than I did with my mother. I don't want him to lie to me to get his way... I don't want him to turn into a little me. I want him to be appreciative of the things he is given and of the things my husband and I do for him. I want him to know that it isn't "Will's World" and that everything doesn't revolve around him. We, my family and I, are very guilty of letting him get away with whatever he wants and I am sooooo trying to put an end to it now before it gets worse. He is already throwing fits, lying and being so sneaky. Again, I see so much of me in him and it scares me to death.

I hope I am over reacting. This has been on my mind and I had to get it off my chest. :)

...and the music plays on!